A Blog Darkly
Feeling better
Hmmm.
Sometimes when you feel like you've gone right to the bottom, things turn around. Well, maybe they haven't turned around, but I feel better, anyway. It's strange, and frustrating, that the way I feel inside bears very little relation to what is actually happening outside me. That when things were going relatively well, I felt down, and now, when they're looking a lot worse, objectively, I feel OK. Time will tell. But I'm back to the point of looking on the up side, of wanting to try to make positive changes in my life. Which is a lot better than where I've been for the past few weeks.
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Bleh
Well it seems as though this light
will never turn green
been driving for a while
can't tell you where I've been
I've got nothing on my mind
I've got nothing to do
I'm just driving around, listening to 'Nebraska'
Well my girl she told me last night
I'm not the one
And half my heart was ripped out
But I still got some...
And if this light should stay red
I’ll be sitting here listening to 'Nebraska'
The Cash Brothers - 'Nebraska'
damn.
[edit]: it isn't quite as bad as those lyrics would imply, though I'm afraid it could be. cross your fingers for me. I just chose that song for personal reasons.
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Not as far along as I thought I was?
Went out tonight planning on having a few drinks at a bar where friends of a friend were DJing. I've met some of these guys before (I'm on good enough terms for one of them to hug me hello, OK, he _was_ very drunk). But I'm sitting at the table with them, and all of a sudden I start feeling really uncomfortable. I literally can't think of a single thing to say to them, and all of a sudden I decide I'd rather not be there. So I get up to go to the toilet, then decide to go for a walk for a while - and before I know it, I'm home. After one drink. At 10pm.
Sigh. I thought I'd been getting a lot better. Looks like I haven't quite cracked it. I don't feel really down or depressed, just like I don't have the energy to deal with social situations, except maybe with people I know well. Double sigh - for how else do I get to know people?
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