(28 April) This isn't such a bad breakup (Self-indulgent bullshit #2)
Weirdly, I feel OK. I have a feeling that could be because I'm in denial. Alternatively, I've just accepted my reality with a Zen-like calmness that would make my Buddhist teachers really happy.

But it is the most mature and well-handled breakup I've ever had. No-one's being mean, no-one's begging or crying (well, not after the first night). We can sleep in the same bed without irritating the hell out of each other, and we're treating each other with respect

It's a shame, because this feels like a good relationship now (except that she's working too much). I could handle living like this - we're not spending a hell of a lot of time together but we're both getting on with life and enjoying talking when we *do* have time together. It's frustrating, because almost all of the issues that bothered me about the relationship, and that bothered her I guess, were caused by the distance (me being an attention whore, mainly).

So I've been like the housewife, spending a lot of time studying and more time grocery shopping, doing the dishes, cooking, and cleaning the bathroom. I've also had time to do some touristy type things. This feels like a good life dammit - why can't I keep it?

I guess I've worked out how to deal with breakups, too. I'm trying to use my time to reflect, to see what I did wrong (and even right) in the relationship. To see where I fell short of my ideals and my goals for the relationship, and how I could improve next time. Foremost, I'm just trying to treat her with love and respect. I think I'm doing OK so far. I'm proud  
| ¶ 8:17 pm